Dreams of a Nikki

Mar 15, 2019

The Amish don't make planes, right?

Ah, good.

Feb 26, 2019

I don't know why it cost $9 to sleep, but snowballs did.

Feb 21, 2019

I thought the Hamilton speech was 8 hours of pitch-black (unintelligible)...

... Deli, why couldn't you be a serpent? Then you could fit in my pocket.

... I had an olive. I could so I did. So then I could scrumch it. And crumch it....

...

No more hats. None at all.

NOTE: 
"Deli" is Nikki's teddy bear. It's short for: "delicate bear".
Feb 6, 2019

No more floor bagels. Just the college bagels, please. You have to let them grow up. It makes them taste better....

yes yes yes yes yes...

Feb 2, 2019

We could have robbed the gas station. But we didn't...

...we didn't...

Feb 2, 2019

Don't worry... They nibbled at them. The tiny plastic.

... They got... everything.

Jan 25, 2019

Oh, I'm going to push all of them out of you. Little chicken face... Little chicken in a shell.

Jan 20, 2019

The chocolate milk is now gone. :(

Dec 14, 2018

We never ate orchids, did we?

No...

No.

Nov 30, 2018

We can't disarm the bear, can we?

Nov 23, 2018

No, he's an injured bird.

... twoo, twoo, twoo, twoo, twoo, twoo, twoo...

Nov 20, 2018

Saturn, it was a burger. And then when I get the burger, I can eat it aaaallllllll day.

🎶🎶🎶
Gingerbread snaps,
With 3-eyed dogs.
Eatin' them all.
Eatin' them all!
🎶🎶🎶

Nov 2, 2018

What? You can't fish with a magnet, Raymond. That's the only way to be sure...

Oct 13, 2018

The librarian was a football player... but which job does he get paid for?

Sep 27, 2018

I think Spongebob was in the Bahamas, and there was a Bahamas sex phone...

...

Philly Cheese!

Sep 26, 2018

Just one person... Just one...

... oh dear. I think I'm sending people nonsense words.

Oh no...

Sep 10, 2018

I won a neopolitan cookie lotion...

Sep 2, 2018

You don't have swim goggles, do you?

No, we're not skiing...

Aug 29, 2018

If all the frosting had chocolate chips in it... Then you could have a math cake. For your numbers...

... yeah...

Aug 26, 2018

Oh no they're gone...

It's ok...

On the way to Mars...

The wind-up dolls...

They don't send alcoholics to Mars.

... Fucking gnomes...

Aug 12, 2018

Chili peppers say otherwise. You deep fry them. You win the argument.

Jul 28, 2018

I thought you had exotic birds with you...

Jul 26, 2018

What the fuck!?

Just a pie, running around?

Oh my...

Jul 20, 2018

Oh.... Why can't we have swords in the back of pickup trucks?

Jul 20, 2018

Oh no! We only have 2 types of salsa!

I thought there was a third...

... I lied.

Jul 7, 2018

We fought them for the ice cream. We fought that whole shitty town for the ice cream. And simultanously popped both front tires on my car.

Jul 7, 2018

We don't have master speed for...

... oh... never mind.

Jul 2, 2018

Did I dream about yogurt? I did...

Jun 30, 2018

There's no watermelon?

...

Oh.

Jun 15, 2018

You did not switch sides. That's good. There's so much more to do.

No pink sharks though...

Jun 6, 2018

No matter what angle, cheese follows you.

If we hadn't hiked, the cheese would melt. That's why it's called Smellowstone.

May 28, 2018

I thought there'd be fire again. And guns. And the rhinoceros.

I miss him.

Don't worry, we'll find him again.

NOTE: 
Nikki wanted to clarify that it was a PINK rhino.
May 26, 2018

There's no unicorns here. None. And there were so many...

May 5, 2018

I can hear boomerangs...

And horses aren't pink, if they eat shrimp...

May 3, 2018

What happened to the cactus? What happened to all my cactus?

Apr 26, 2018

I am not a liquid. But I am... Done...

Apr 16, 2018

When you're a cactus like me, you don't have anything.

Apr 16, 2018

Hmm... Those don't smell like iced tea. None of them do, Raymond. None of them do...

Apr 7, 2018

No chainsaw?

Hunh? What?

It's okay. We don't need any...

Mar 19, 2018

How do you tell the age of a pufferfish?

Mar 15, 2018

BUNNIES. They bounce just like fun.

Feb 24, 2018

I gave it all back. All of it. For the Ray burrito. And the anti-biotics...

And the pharaoh shipment...

Feb 15, 2018

I don't have a socket wrench. It's all good...

Feb 10, 2018

... it's like raaaaaaaw lamb feet.

Feb 7, 2018

Light-up shoes...

Feb 3, 2018

But how did the computer KNOW how many pages there are? I NEED TO KNOW...

Nov 29, 2017

There's no gingerbread origami...

Indented casserole...

WE DID NOT BUY ANY SALT SHAKERS. No cats even...

Nov 16, 2017

A hamster won the academy award? Yaaaaayyyyy....

Oct 28, 2017

Oh, you have not made blueberry pie, as I had first thought...

Oct 23, 2017

There was enough time to drop off all the plants, to make sure Raymond had enough blanket.